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Robinson Cano's 80 game PED Suspension

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JVHaste

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2015
4,751
270
Vancouver WA
It's not drugs................it's obviously mutant superheros (or *metahumans* as some people refer to them as). I don't know why everyone seems to doubt the existence of them. They are just like us, only with superpowers.

Tell me with a straight face that Bartolo doesn't resemble the "Thing" from Fantastic Four? He's just in his human form...when he goes back home he returns to his thick, lumpy orange rock-covered form, as the special serum he created only allows for him to be in his human form for up to six hours. This special serum shows up as a false positive for steroids on a drug screen panel from time to time.

You're right, if he really was on testosterone again his chin would be double ball hangers like Ballchinians from Men in Black.

btw, here is GM Dipoto's "we aren't making the playoffs and I'm fcked" face.

1646422-640x422.jpg
 

u2me57

Well-known member
Mar 21, 2014
3,234
63
Hendersonville, Tn.
Wether it's just another bs excuse or not all his fans and Mariners fans should be pissed, he was either too selfish to care or too dumb to realize he should check medications he's been "prescribed". I can't stand it when these guys with nearly unlimited resources to do the right thing say "I had no idea, it was a mistake". Screw you buddy.

Exactly.
 

WizardofOz1982

Well-known member
Sep 30, 2017
1,736
1,498
Oklahoma
It's Lasix. It's been the front line first prescribed diuretic for treating hypertension for like 50 years. It's cheap and it works damn well. I completely understand why a doc would prescribe it as the first choice for a hypertensive patient. Obviously MLB thinks there is more to it or they wouldn't have suspended Cano but why not say what he using it to mask then.

Is it stupid of him to take Lasix without a TUE? Yes. Is the only possible use for it masking a PED? No. MLB has never had an issue outing guys for whatever they're using so why hold back in this case? Seems odd, as does his drop of the appeal.
 

WizardofOz1982

Well-known member
Sep 30, 2017
1,736
1,498
Oklahoma
Because it's masked?

There is still evidence there, or should be, if they think he is using Lasix to mask. Lasix doesn't makes you test negative for whatever you're using if it is still in your system. It just dilutes the amount of whatever is in your urine. It is still there and still quantifiable.
 

WizardofOz1982

Well-known member
Sep 30, 2017
1,736
1,498
Oklahoma
Hahahahahaha that is hilarious

Sent from my LG-TP450 using Tapatalk

The fact that one of the most outspoken players against steroids (while also being a physical poster child for their use) is happily cashing checks to endorse that kind of product cracks me up. I about fell out of my chair laughing the first time I saw a commercial.
 

KLARNOLD

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2008
1,409
147
Owensboro, KY

David K.

Active member
Aug 26, 2008
1,338
12
Fresno, CA
Theres a reason for the Growth issue to stop after 25 years.....You're growth period is over!! Mess with mother nature and bad things happen! Best regards, David
 

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