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Advice from "The Sports Guy" re: National

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Bob Loblaw

Active member
Aug 21, 2008
11,214
5
Bright House Field
Q: Enjoyed your sports memorabilia piece. A question though: Were there ANY women there at all? I mean, if there is 'press box hot' what constitutes as 'sports memorabilia convention' hot?
— Torey, Pittsburgh

SG: I tackled this subject in 2009's photo essay, writing things like "There are sausage fests, there are mega-sausage fests and then there's the National Sports Collectors Convention. You have a better chance of meeting your future wife in an all-male penitentiary during a Gay Pride parade." Press Box Hot is a much higher caliber than NSCC Hot; I'd put NSCC Hot just below Female Prison Guard Hot. It's so bad that you're startled every time you see a woman under 40. Even pregnant moms pushing baby strollers get checked out. One collector had the bright idea of having a pretty women in her early 20s sit in his station with him; she was clearly hired for the event (like a convention escort), but the ploy worked. Guys in Hawaiian shirts were awkwardly wobbling by like they'd just seen a lunar eclipse. That's my suggestion to any major dealer out there: Hire a local Hooters girl or model to hang out in your booth for five afternoons and just flirt with customers. Pay her $200 a day. You'll make the money back.


--------

I'm thinking an "FCB Girl" would do wonders.
 

JoshHamilton

Well-known member
Aug 7, 2008
12,205
320
Bill Simmons, translated for people who don't want to read 73 lame pop culture references:

The women there were not attractive.


I like Simmons, but Jesus Christ
 

Junior Griffey

New member
Aug 12, 2008
4,145
3
Ottawa IL
Most of the good looking girls there were in booths, but there was one really cute blonde who was looking for T206's. She is trying for a backs collection of Hal Chase.
 

Joshua.Roundtree

New member
Mar 12, 2010
2,490
0
Clearwater, FL
lisu said:
sigh, and I think having a booth with multiple women (rainmanesq and I) in Cleveland actually drew more people to our tables.

That's pretty sad isn't it? I mean yeah, you probably enjoyed the extra attention and all, but at least you see the absurdity of it all. I bet Messier was one of those people, all his posts seem to have that creepiness factor to them. I bet he was one of the Hawaiian shirt guys Simmons was referring to.
 

lisu

Active member
Aug 8, 2008
7,335
0
Mountain View, CA
Joshua.Roundtree said:
lisu said:
sigh, and I think having a booth with multiple women (rainmanesq and I) in Cleveland actually drew more people to our tables.

That's pretty sad isn't it? I mean yeah, you probably enjoyed the extra attention and all, but at least you see the absurdity of it all. I bet Messier was one of those people, all his posts seem to have that creepiness factor to them. I bet he was one of the Hawaiian shirt guys Simmons was referring to.

Well, I don't know - we have some good jokes about it now, but it wasn't that amusing. Don't think that I don't know anything about cards just because I'm female. ;)
 

gt2590

Super Moderator
Aug 17, 2008
38,660
3,246
Near Philly
I don't read much of Simmons' stuff, but I'd take the FCB women's knowledge of sports cards, memoriabilia over his any day of the week.

Besides, most of his work is devoted to something called the NBA, although I've never heard of it...

:cool:
 

JoshHamilton

Well-known member
Aug 7, 2008
12,205
320
gt2590 said:
I don't read much of Simmons' stuff, but I'd take the FCB women's knowledge of sports cards, memoriabilia over his any day of the week. 

Besides, most of his work is devoted to something called the NBA, although I've never heard of it...

 :cool:

Bethlehem Shoals (Nathaniel Friedman) is a much better NBA writer than Simmons. Like infinitely better. I actually read Shoals' stuff, even though I'm not a basketball fan. 

Simmons' stuff was a pretty fun read from 2001-2005. But it looks he's still getting mileage out of the same F'd out material he used 8 years ago. We get it, you can conveniently tie everything in sports to a Karate Kid or The Wire quote. 

The articles with Klosterman are the worst. "Hey, let's see if we can reference Radiohead and Malcolm Gladwell 14000 times in a 4000 word essay!"

Simmons is boring. And Grantland exists so a bunch of "cutting-edge" ESPN writers can use four letter words
 

gt2590

Super Moderator
Aug 17, 2008
38,660
3,246
Near Philly
WTH?!?

I thought the NBA folded years ago!

BTW, you'll dig this JH, I was watching some '03 NCAA hoops. I kinda forgot how great TJ Ford was in College... :(
 

Wes

OG
Administrator
JoshHamilton said:
gt2590 said:
I don't read much of Simmons' stuff, but I'd take the FCB women's knowledge of sports cards, memoriabilia over his any day of the week. 

Besides, most of his work is devoted to something called the NBA, although I've never heard of it...

 :cool:

Bethlehem Shoals (Nathaniel Friedman) is a much better NBA writer than Simmons. Like infinitely better. I actually read Shoals' stuff, even though I'm not a basketball fan. 

Simmons' stuff was a pretty fun read from 2001-2005. But it looks he's still getting mileage out of the same F'd out material he used 8 years ago. We get it, you can conveniently tie everything in sports to a Karate Kid or The Wire quote. 

The articles with Klosterman are the worst. "Hey, let's see if we can reference Radiohead and Malcolm Gladwell 14000 times in a 4000 word essay!"

Simmons is boring. And Grantland exists so a bunch of "cutting-edge" ESPN writers can use four letter words

Klosterman is UNBEARABLE.
 

JoshHamilton

Well-known member
Aug 7, 2008
12,205
320
gt2590 said:
Yeah, I saw Simmons does alot of "The Wire" stuff...

but "Shield" was better.  :p

The Shield is wonderful. 

I'll give credit to Simmons. He more or less popularized the "blog style" form of journalism. Where you could read an article written by a real human being who wasn't an idiotic robot, like Reilly or PeterKingCranialExtractions. Costas is the absolute worst. What a ****

Daulerio, Leitch, Magary, Ufford, Tunison, Friedman, Schur, TigerTango (online persona), Dickey, Zerkle, etc are far better and funnier writers. 
 

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