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Thread: Night Crew Aug/ trade day

  1. #166
    Senior Member JVHaste's Avatar
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    Not digging the all white and black jerseys tonight.... Thanks Topps(?)

  2. #167
    Senior Member Super Mario's Avatar
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    I like the all white look, but donít care for the all black.


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    Resident Yadier Molina, and Pro Wrestling super fan.

  3. #168
    Senior Member MrMet's Avatar
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    What? Spy vs Spy?


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  4. #169
    Senior Member JVHaste's Avatar
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    [MENTION=7453]mouschi[/MENTION]

    You just click on the # of days you want and it will make short term stats


    https://www.rotowire.com/baseball/player.php?id=11040

  5. #170
    Senior Member death2redemptions's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JVHaste View Post
    Not digging the all white and black jerseys tonight.... Thanks Topps(?)
    SO ugly!!!

    White=Good guys
    Black=Bad guys

    Quote Originally Posted by Super Mario View Post
    I like the all white look, but don’t care for the all black.


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    Racist!
    Look, I'm gonna be honest with you. I really need a job. And I will take any position, as long as it doesn't involve having sex with old ladies for money or bear traps. Those are my two bugaboos. While mulling over my resume feel free to check out my baseball card collection, it's small and simple, kinda like me - >>>>> https://s822.photobucket.com/user/JDf...ds%20n%20stuff


  6. #171
    Senior Member JVHaste's Avatar
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    Maybe in other sports it would work but in MLB a lot of teams have colors in their name so it just seems extra bad.

  7. #172
    Senior Member death2redemptions's Avatar
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    We were just celebrating Acuna becoming a 30/30 player in the Braves thread which had brought up a fond memory of mine with Night Crew gang leader JVHaste...

    I hadn't had the pleasure of witnessing a Braves player become a 30/30 member since becoming a baseball fan...



    ....but with that being said I did get to witness JVHaste flatulate & vomit 30 times within 30 minutes after a Taco Bell & heroin feast (aka Mexican speedball) while we were spotting trains.

    It was a cold and dreary night, no different than any other and I was out trainspotting as usual when I looked across the tracks and saw a man clinching onto his bottle of rum, trying to find warmth within in. I decided I'd cross the tracks to introduce myself. He said his name was Jubilee Valentine Hastaga but preferred to go by JV Haste, as the name Jubilee Valentine Hastaga had been given to him by his abusive transgender Gothic adoptive parents who were part of a cult who studied existential nihilism. They also sacrificed babies & children on the side. He was due to be sacrificed next but with the help of a Russian seamstress he escaped before becoming the proverbial sacrificial lamb. I found his story to be relatively interesting and at the same time felt bad for the poor sod, almost as if I could relate with him. To warm his soul I decided to introduce him to a concoction of mine, a well-kept secret family recipe that had been passed down for generations. We called it a Mexican Speedball...3 parts Taco Bell, 2 part sriracha & 1 part heroin.

    At first he showed a bit of reluctance, not because there contained heroin but because of the Taco Bell, as it was force fed to him by the Russian seamstress who rescued him from those transgender Gothic adoptive parents of his. Apparently this mystery seamstress worked for the Bratva (Russian Mafia) who manufactured and distributed counterfeit Taco Bell supreme tacos. This led a young Jubilee Valentine Hastaga down a path of crime in the former Soviet Union and eventually climbing the ranks of the brotherhood where he'd eventually wear stars on his shoulders and knees as a Vor (Russian made man) but that is a story for another day.

    Back to our story, in order to calm his nerves about the Taco Bell I told him this was authentic 100% pure Taco Bell, not the counterfeit stuff his parents dealt in old Russia. Eventually he gave in and this led to the most amazing scene that I'll never forget. Within a half hour period I witnessed no less than 30 brown outs, that is, shots of explosive diarrhea to those unaware of the terminology. That on it's own is mildly impressive, after all MLB players hit 30 home runs all the time. No, what made it impressive was the green vomit that projected from his mouth within this same period of time. To be precise, I counted 32 incidents of vomit and 34 anal projectiles. He became the youngest man to ever reach this elusive 30-30 club. I knew from that moment on that this Jubilee Valentine (aka JV Haste) was someone I'd like to know, a very possible friend to the end.

    For those wondering, it turns out I used too much Taco Bell and not enough heroin in my Mexican speedball but I conveniently left that information out at the time, as it would be considered a PED and JVHaste's name would be left out of the record books.
    Look, I'm gonna be honest with you. I really need a job. And I will take any position, as long as it doesn't involve having sex with old ladies for money or bear traps. Those are my two bugaboos. While mulling over my resume feel free to check out my baseball card collection, it's small and simple, kinda like me - >>>>> https://s822.photobucket.com/user/JDf...ds%20n%20stuff


  8. #173
    Senior Member JVHaste's Avatar
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    You can't believe everything you read on the internet.........








    .....but what D2R wrote is 100% accurate.

  9. #174
    Senior Member MrMet's Avatar
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    Tl;dr


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  10. #175
    Senior Member death2redemptions's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrMet View Post
    Tl;dr


    Sent from my iPhone using Freedom Card Board mobile app
    Cliff notes:

    JVHaste's real name is Jubilee Valentine Hastaga

    The rest is just fluff
    Look, I'm gonna be honest with you. I really need a job. And I will take any position, as long as it doesn't involve having sex with old ladies for money or bear traps. Those are my two bugaboos. While mulling over my resume feel free to check out my baseball card collection, it's small and simple, kinda like me - >>>>> https://s822.photobucket.com/user/JDf...ds%20n%20stuff


  11. #176
    Senior Member death2redemptions's Avatar
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    Oh, and Freddie Freeman is a Mets killa
    Look, I'm gonna be honest with you. I really need a job. And I will take any position, as long as it doesn't involve having sex with old ladies for money or bear traps. Those are my two bugaboos. While mulling over my resume feel free to check out my baseball card collection, it's small and simple, kinda like me - >>>>> https://s822.photobucket.com/user/JDf...ds%20n%20stuff


  12. #177
    Senior Member MrMet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by death2redemptions View Post
    Cliff notes:

    JVHaste's real name is Jubilee Valentine Hastaga

    The rest is just fluff
    Jubilee from the X-men? And yeah, all the Braves are Mets killers, we canít beat you guys this year...might cost us the WC

    Of course, if it comes down to a race between us and the Cubs I might have to find a black cat to loose on the field...50 years exactly


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  13. #178
    Senior Member death2redemptions's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrMet View Post
    Jubilee from the X-men? And yeah, all the Braves are Mets killers, we can’t beat you guys this year...might cost us the WC

    Of course, if it comes down to a race between us and the Cubs I might have to find a black cat to loose on the field...50 years exactly


    Sent from my iPhone using Freedom Card Board mobile app
    You want black cats? I can getcha some black cats. I could getcha a couple dozen mangy black cats that have all been trained to kill. That field will be painted red
    Look, I'm gonna be honest with you. I really need a job. And I will take any position, as long as it doesn't involve having sex with old ladies for money or bear traps. Those are my two bugaboos. While mulling over my resume feel free to check out my baseball card collection, it's small and simple, kinda like me - >>>>> https://s822.photobucket.com/user/JDf...ds%20n%20stuff


  14. #179
    Senior Member JVHaste's Avatar
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    Jubilee in Xmen has that good line at the start . . .

    She breaks an arcade machine and the guy asks how much it costs....

    Other than that kind of a boring character, but that show was better than any of the current Xmen movies.
    Last edited by JVHaste; 08-25-2019 at 09:59 PM.

  15. #180
    Senior Member JVHaste's Avatar
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    Well fellas, the "players weekend" is over. . . anyone who didn't comply can be fined, but rest assured they wont have to do such "fun" times until next year.


    MLB needs me as Commish.

    signed,
    Jubilation Lee Valentine Hastaga.

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