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Thread: Night Crew Aug/ trade day

  1. #76
    Senior Member JVHaste's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by death2redemptions View Post
    Back in the medieval times when two men played a game of chess an actual knight stood behind each player and the loser would be decapitated with a swift swing of the blade. The champion would proceed to place the head in a satchel, take them to the local witch doctor who would shrink the head and a sort of necklace containing the shrunken heads of the chess masters fallen victims would be made so they could wear them around their necks as a trophy. The wives of the fallen victims became the property of the chess master. You were given the title of regional grandmaster when you owned 2,500 wives or more.

    Anyone who can handle that sort of pressure should have no problem winning over a jury of nitwits. After all, nobody wants to be married to 2,500 women...that sort of stress would drive a man to madness...even the sort of man who had 2,500 people decapitated in front of them after the words checkmate were spoken
    This sounds fun. Maybe the decapitator guy can protect us from our wives??

  2. #77
    Member banjar's Avatar
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    Yeah he was one of a kind.

    It got me thinking - Topps include out a "Red" card in the 2020 A&G set, and the 1/1 red parallel could have a GU version with a genuine pube. Maybe they could include an image have him endorsing Bazooka gum.

    I would pass on the action shot though, been there done that. Better to stick with a portrait or something.




    Quote Originally Posted by death2redemptions View Post
    Red sounds like my kinda man...the perfect pure bred male to take as my wing man at the pubs.

    Not to be confused with "pubes" but while on that topic, I hear that ginger pubes are at a premium and worth quite a bit on the black market. I could make millions with Red by my side!
    Collecting Roberto Alomar. Over 4000 unique cards, but always looking for those I'm missing!

  3. #78
    Member banjar's Avatar
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    Dude you're in rare form lately!

    Quote Originally Posted by death2redemptions View Post
    Back in the medieval times when two men played a game of chess an actual knight stood behind each player and the loser would be decapitated with a swift swing of the blade. The champion would proceed to place the head in a satchel, take them to the local witch doctor who would shrink the head and a sort of necklace containing the shrunken heads of the chess masters fallen victims would be made so they could wear them around their necks as a trophy. The wives of the fallen victims became the property of the chess master. You were given the title of regional grandmaster when you owned 2,500 wives or more.

    Anyone who can handle that sort of pressure should have no problem winning over a jury of nitwits. After all, nobody wants to be married to 2,500 women...that sort of stress would drive a man to madness...even the sort of man who had 2,500 people decapitated in front of them after the words checkmate were spoken
    Collecting Roberto Alomar. Over 4000 unique cards, but always looking for those I'm missing!

  4. #79
    Member banjar's Avatar
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    Get the f outta here. I always pictured you as clean cut and upright and respectable. Not a gum sitter! Just goes to show you. It's always the quiet ones.

    My buddy Cedric is not a real talker but every now and I get a glimpse into how his mind works and it totally wrecks me. We were in a 7-11 and he saw a bottle of this "Muscle Milk" garbage in the cooler. As casual as could be he goes "Is that what you get when you milk your muscle?" I laughed so hard I think my liver came out of my nose.


    Quote Originally Posted by bstanwood View Post
    I think it's between Bellinger and Yelich for NL MVP although Acuna is probably my favorite of the bunch, love those power/speed guys. How many in the 40/40 club? Canseco, Bonds, A-Rod and Soriano? Did I miss anyone?

    Also, in college I totally sat in gum almost every day for my roommates. On the rare occasion I am hanging out with those guys these days i still try to find an opportune moment for it.
    Collecting Roberto Alomar. Over 4000 unique cards, but always looking for those I'm missing!

  5. #80
    Senior Member JVHaste's Avatar
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    Yordan Alvarez with 3HR 7RBI

    Of all the young power hitters in MLB right now, where does he rank?

  6. #81
    Senior Member JVHaste's Avatar
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    [MENTION=2375]finestkind[/MENTION] I might need a break from shilling Rick Porcello's trash performances, can you fill in for me for about a month?

  7. #82
    Member banjar's Avatar
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    I'd say somewhere between Dave Justice and Kevin Maas.

    Err, uh, you mean today? Guess I haven't thought about this question in 28 years...



    Quote Originally Posted by JVHaste View Post
    Yordan Alvarez with 3HR 7RBI

    Of all the young power hitters in MLB right now, where does he rank?
    Collecting Roberto Alomar. Over 4000 unique cards, but always looking for those I'm missing!

  8. #83
    Senior Member finestkind's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JVHaste View Post
    [MENTION=2375]finestkind[/MENTION] I might need a break from shilling Rick Porcello's trash performances, can you fill in for me for about a month?
    I can try.
    I'm Dave ! Dave's not here man.

  9. #84
    Senior Member death2redemptions's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by banjar View Post
    Dude you're in rare form lately!
    I slept at a Holiday Inn last night....well, I wouldn't say I really slept. Leather whips & chains, handcuffs, gimp suits, rubber duckies and all...there was some real 50 shades of Grey $hit going on in there.

    And there were no silly safe words, my friend. Just the way I like it.
    Look, I'm gonna be honest with you. I really need a job. And I will take any position, as long as it doesn't involve having sex with old ladies for money or bear traps. Those are my two bugaboos. While mulling over my resume feel free to check out my baseball card collection, it's small and simple, kinda like me - >>>>> https://s822.photobucket.com/user/JDf...ds%20n%20stuff


  10. #85
    Senior Member death2redemptions's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JVHaste View Post
    [MENTION=2375]finestkind[/MENTION] I might need a break from shilling Rick Porcello's trash performances, can you fill in for me for about a month?
    Speaking of trash performances, thanks a lot for Mike Leaking.

    People keep asking why I still have him on my fantasy team and I can't think of an answer that makes sense. Fortunately I also have Ryu who is facing off with Leaking. One of them has Leaked 8 runs via 10 hits & 4 home runs while the other has 7 innings of shutout ball. I'll let you guess which is which. I'll give you a hint...one of them rhymes with $hit's creek, which is currently where they are headed.
    Look, I'm gonna be honest with you. I really need a job. And I will take any position, as long as it doesn't involve having sex with old ladies for money or bear traps. Those are my two bugaboos. While mulling over my resume feel free to check out my baseball card collection, it's small and simple, kinda like me - >>>>> https://s822.photobucket.com/user/JDf...ds%20n%20stuff


  11. #86
    Senior Member death2redemptions's Avatar
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    Acuna hit his 8th HR in 8 games today...up to 33 on the season. Still at 28 stolen bases. Just one run shy of a 100.

    He's currently on pace for 44 HR & 38 SB
    Look, I'm gonna be honest with you. I really need a job. And I will take any position, as long as it doesn't involve having sex with old ladies for money or bear traps. Those are my two bugaboos. While mulling over my resume feel free to check out my baseball card collection, it's small and simple, kinda like me - >>>>> https://s822.photobucket.com/user/JDf...ds%20n%20stuff


  12. #87
    Senior Member JVHaste's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by death2redemptions View Post
    Speaking of trash performances, thanks a lot for Mike Leaking.
    No problem

    I will pass down my Mike Leake shill techniques:


    1. He throws strikes
    Whenever Leake allows a 472 foot homer remind everyone how good of a strike thrower he is. "would you rather him walks guys?" you could say.

    2. 5 pitch mix

    Constantly mention how many pitches are in his arsenal. (even if they end up over the fence) You could also add that he puts the "ARSE" in arsenal.

    3.Freake a Leake
    Spam this pun constantly, because it will keep you sane. Good luck.

  13. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by banjar View Post
    Get the f outta here. I always pictured you as clean cut and upright and respectable. Not a gum sitter! Just goes to show you. It's always the quiet ones.

    My buddy Cedric is not a real talker but every now and I get a glimpse into how his mind works and it totally wrecks me. We were in a 7-11 and he saw a bottle of this "Muscle Milk" garbage in the cooler. As casual as could be he goes "Is that what you get when you milk your muscle?" I laughed so hard I think my liver came out of my nose.
    I've often thought I could have been the best actor of our generation, I do project an upright and respectable image, especially at work, retail and the public and all that noise, most people have no idea how bizarre it gets in my head. If people could hear what was happening in my head maybe only 3% of people wouldn't be punching or slapping me at every given second of the day.

  14. #89
    Senior Member JVHaste's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bstanwood View Post
    If people could hear what was happening in my head maybe only 3% of people wouldn't be punching or slapping me at every given second of the day.
    I think this could apply to a few of us in this thread.


    The new announcer ratings are out, most of it makes sense:

    https://awfulannouncing.com/mlb/your...-rankings.html

  15. #90
    Senior Member JVHaste's Avatar
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    The same website shows the best shtty scene from a sports movie, wowza.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_c...&v=HJWYzmJslis

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