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Night Crew Aug/ trade day

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banjar

Well-known member
Mar 22, 2015
2,540
883
Lafayette, Colorado
So in a previous life, I knew this guy who wore shorts all the time. Now and then, while sitting around drinking and BS'ing, he'd quietly reach in and pull out a bit of his nutzack, and then loudly proclaim "Aw, man, I sat in gum!". And then 30 minutes later he'd do it again. "Aw, man, I sat in gum AGAIN". I hate to admit it, but it was always funny. Went by the nickname Red and yeah the carpet matched the drapes. I wonder whatever happened to that guy.

Glad the Night Crew thread is back.



Ah man, the humidity down here in South Carolina is soooo awful too! I'm constantly changing clothes throughout the day.

My sweaty nutsack keeps sticking to my leg...gag
 

JVHaste

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2015
4,751
270
Vancouver WA
Speaking of bad contracts, Chris Davis tries to fight his own manager and gets held back by someone on the DL. :rolleyes: He is so bad that the biggest punishment you could hand out is to force him to play more.



I might try to add that joke to my slapstick routine.... right after my 3 Stooges whooping and eye poke I will sit in gum. :cool:
 

JVHaste

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2015
4,751
270
Vancouver WA
Some memes just don't age well... oh boy. :rolleyes:



c0b9c222df4857eafcbc96b9cc9a4654.jpg
 

death2redemptions

New member
Feb 4, 2016
12,488
0
The Carolina on the Southern side
So in a previous life, I knew this guy who wore shorts all the time. Now and then, while sitting around drinking and BS'ing, he'd quietly reach in and pull out a bit of his nutzack, and then loudly proclaim "Aw, man, I sat in gum!". And then 30 minutes later he'd do it again. "Aw, man, I sat in gum AGAIN". I hate to admit it, but it was always funny. Went by the nickname Red and yeah the carpet matched the drapes. I wonder whatever happened to that guy.

Glad the Night Crew thread is back.

Red sounds like my kinda man...the perfect pure bred male to take as my wing man at the pubs.

Not to be confused with "pubes" but while on that topic, I hear that ginger pubes are at a premium and worth quite a bit on the black market. I could make millions with Red by my side!
 

death2redemptions

New member
Feb 4, 2016
12,488
0
The Carolina on the Southern side
Ronald Acuna just swatted his 30th home run of the season at the tender age of 21. He has also stolen 26 bases...oh so close to a 30/30 season. Once he does get that 30th stolen base he'll become the second youngest player in history to do. The youngest? Well, Mike Trout of course!

Many are actually predicting a 40/40 season and if he were to do so he'd obviously be the youngest player in history to accomplish that. But does he have a legitimate shot at doing that? Well, he is on pace for 42 home runs and I do believe he could reach that if he stays healthy. However, he is only on pace to steal 36 bases. It's possible he still could if he was really determined to do so because he did steal 12 bases in 15 days back in July. So you never know...but I think it's a no on the 40 bases and a yes on 40 home runs.

2019 Season - .295 avg/.375 OBP/.522 slg% 30 HR 75 RBI .897 OPS 26 SB 94 Runs 4.5 WAR

*He leads the NL in runs scored & stolen bases. He's 4th in home runs.

Last year ROY, this year.......MVP?

Okay guys, gotta put my Acuna blow up doll back in the closet, mom just made meat loaf...MA, THE MEATLOAF!!!
 

bstanwood

Well-known member
Sep 24, 2016
3,666
332
Mystic, CT
I think it's between Bellinger and Yelich for NL MVP although Acuna is probably my favorite of the bunch, love those power/speed guys. How many in the 40/40 club? Canseco, Bonds, A-Rod and Soriano? Did I miss anyone?

Also, in college I totally sat in gum almost every day for my roommates. On the rare occasion I am hanging out with those guys these days i still try to find an opportune moment for it.
 

death2redemptions

New member
Feb 4, 2016
12,488
0
The Carolina on the Southern side
I think it's between Bellinger and Yelich for NL MVP although Acuna is probably my favorite of the bunch, love those power/speed guys. How many in the 40/40 club? Canseco, Bonds, A-Rod and Soriano? Did I miss anyone?

Also, in college I totally sat in gum almost every day for my roommates. On the rare occasion I am hanging out with those guys these days i still try to find an opportune moment for it.

Oh yeah, Acuna is not likely to finish with one of the two top NL MVP spots...those two are superhuman this year but he's having a hell of an age 21 season. And guess what? He just smashed a couple more home runs. Fourth straight game with a long ball...7 in his last 7 games.

Acuna - .298 avg 32 HR 79 RBI .912 OPS *26 SB *96 Runs

*Still leads the league
 

death2redemptions

New member
Feb 4, 2016
12,488
0
The Carolina on the Southern side
Wow.....just wow....the way the Braves just blew that game against the soft contact Marlins...for a second there I thought I may have accidentally switched it to a Mariners game...but nope, it was the other fishy team and instead they bombarded the Braves $hit show of a f*ckpen to death with single after single after singles after single after single.....

Acuna would be the first non roider to get 40/40. That would be quite the accomplishment.

If he does find a way to pull off a 40/40 season (currently 32 HR/28 SB with 40 something games left) he'll immediately be hit with a drug test
 

death2redemptions

New member
Feb 4, 2016
12,488
0
The Carolina on the Southern side
I blame my drug addled alcoholism on the Braves bullpen.

Do I have a case for a lawsuit? What if I know of multiple people who have been driven to a stiff drink and an oxy due to the numerous Braves bullpen implosions? Could I file for a class action lawsuit?
 

death2redemptions

New member
Feb 4, 2016
12,488
0
The Carolina on the Southern side
Back in the medieval times when two men played a game of chess an actual knight stood behind each player and the loser would be decapitated with a swift swing of the blade. The champion would proceed to place the head in a satchel, take them to the local witch doctor who would shrink the head and a sort of necklace containing the shrunken heads of the chess masters fallen victims would be made so they could wear them around their necks as a trophy. The wives of the fallen victims became the property of the chess master. You were given the title of regional grandmaster when you owned 2,500 wives or more.

Anyone who can handle that sort of pressure should have no problem winning over a jury of nitwits. After all, nobody wants to be married to 2,500 women...that sort of stress would drive a man to madness...even the sort of man who had 2,500 people decapitated in front of them after the words checkmate were spoken
 

JVHaste

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2015
4,751
270
Vancouver WA
Now I'm hearing JVHaste has a degree in chess law......could he represent us?

I say, anyone with a PhD in "castling" should be able to practice in court.


I have a PH-Dee's (nuts) in Concave Earth Theories from Ball State.

round-earth-flat-earth-concave-earth-14677602.png


CqvLdv9.jpg



So yeah... castling.. pretty much spot on. :lol:
 

JVHaste

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2015
4,751
270
Vancouver WA
Back in the medieval times when two men played a game of chess an actual knight stood behind each player and the loser would be decapitated with a swift swing of the blade. The champion would proceed to place the head in a satchel, take them to the local witch doctor who would shrink the head and a sort of necklace containing the shrunken heads of the chess masters fallen victims would be made so they could wear them around their necks as a trophy. The wives of the fallen victims became the property of the chess master. You were given the title of regional grandmaster when you owned 2,500 wives or more.

Anyone who can handle that sort of pressure should have no problem winning over a jury of nitwits. After all, nobody wants to be married to 2,500 women...that sort of stress would drive a man to madness...even the sort of man who had 2,500 people decapitated in front of them after the words checkmate were spoken

This sounds fun. Maybe the decapitator guy can protect us from our wives??
 

banjar

Well-known member
Mar 22, 2015
2,540
883
Lafayette, Colorado
Yeah he was one of a kind.

It got me thinking - Topps include out a "Red" card in the 2020 A&G set, and the 1/1 red parallel could have a GU version with a genuine ****. Maybe they could include an image have him endorsing Bazooka gum.

I would pass on the action shot though, been there done that. Better to stick with a portrait or something.




Red sounds like my kinda man...the perfect pure bred male to take as my wing man at the pubs.

Not to be confused with "pubes" but while on that topic, I hear that ginger pubes are at a premium and worth quite a bit on the black market. I could make millions with Red by my side!
 

banjar

Well-known member
Mar 22, 2015
2,540
883
Lafayette, Colorado
Dude you're in rare form lately!

Back in the medieval times when two men played a game of chess an actual knight stood behind each player and the loser would be decapitated with a swift swing of the blade. The champion would proceed to place the head in a satchel, take them to the local witch doctor who would shrink the head and a sort of necklace containing the shrunken heads of the chess masters fallen victims would be made so they could wear them around their necks as a trophy. The wives of the fallen victims became the property of the chess master. You were given the title of regional grandmaster when you owned 2,500 wives or more.

Anyone who can handle that sort of pressure should have no problem winning over a jury of nitwits. After all, nobody wants to be married to 2,500 women...that sort of stress would drive a man to madness...even the sort of man who had 2,500 people decapitated in front of them after the words checkmate were spoken
 

banjar

Well-known member
Mar 22, 2015
2,540
883
Lafayette, Colorado
Get the f outta here. I always pictured you as clean cut and upright and respectable. Not a gum sitter! Just goes to show you. It's always the quiet ones.

My buddy Cedric is not a real talker but every now and I get a glimpse into how his mind works and it totally wrecks me. We were in a 7-11 and he saw a bottle of this "Muscle Milk" garbage in the cooler. As casual as could be he goes "Is that what you get when you milk your muscle?" I laughed so hard I think my liver came out of my nose.


I think it's between Bellinger and Yelich for NL MVP although Acuna is probably my favorite of the bunch, love those power/speed guys. How many in the 40/40 club? Canseco, Bonds, A-Rod and Soriano? Did I miss anyone?

Also, in college I totally sat in gum almost every day for my roommates. On the rare occasion I am hanging out with those guys these days i still try to find an opportune moment for it.
 

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