My neighbor is a whore.
I say this because my house is for sale. I live in a nice development and everyone takes care of their house and yard.....that is with the exception of my one neighbor because she is a whore.
I have a single woman who is in her early 60's that lives behind me and yet she manages to keep up her yard (not a whore)....not to mention the retired couple on the other side on me that are in their mid-60's, they are some of the nicest people you will ever meet....again, not whores. Standing on my front porch, all the houses across the street....very nice....but the not whore's house.
She is in her late 30's with two kids by two different guys which means she collects two different checks (from her baby's daddy) each month....again, did I mention she is whore?
Now the whore is too busy being a whore to even mow her lawn....or should I say her weeds. When my house went on the market in late fall the grass in her backyard was so high you would need a search party to find a dog or small child that would happen to wander in there...but perhaps that is her plan because she is a baby factory....otherwise known as a whore....it has to be difficult and expensive to care for a litter of kids.
I went to cash a check a few months ago and teller notices we live in the same neighborhood. When I told the teller my house was for sale, she then conveyed her sympathies because the state of the whore's yard has become a topic of discussion in the neighborhood. You see, her grass (and flower beds) has been replaced by weeds. Very large weeds, think Little Shop of Horrors. One weed in particular was very impressive, it had grown nearly three feet wide and had a bulb the size of a basketball.
Hold on, we are almost to the point of way I started this rant. The whore has two very large trees in her front yard. One tree is dead and the other is an apple tree that drops apples into my yard...tons of apples. So once a week or so, I rake all the rotting apples back into her yard....where they sit, only to provide nourishment for her weeds.
One day two months ago, the whore must have been bored with trying to pump out more illegitimate kids and decided to rake some of the debris that accumulated in her yard over the past three years....she did so onto the sidewalk and piled it up in front of my house....I decided to shovel the crap back into her yard (with some ending up on her front porch) for good measure, the sad part....you could even tell I threw the debris back into her yard it was such a mess.
From what I gather, whores must like to collect lawn and leaf bags or think they make for good lawn decorations. Why...because what she did manage to put into the lawn bags is still sitting there...two months later....and I must say they go nicely with what is left of the lawn bags that are still in her backyard from the fall of 2008.
I will skip over the siding that blew off her house (never to be replaced) and get back to the second tree in her front yard...the dead tree and the reason for my rant about the whore.
I informed the whore this summer that the tree in her yard was dead and I was concerned that a tree over 40 feet high could fall and damage my house. Inside, I was hoping it would crash into her house solving my problem. I even sent over a crew that was removing my dead tree that offered to take down her dead tree....and for the first time in her life, the whore said no to a man.
Last night, the wind was blowing at 50+ mph and it was sub-zero out with the wind chill when I got home to find the dead tree from the whore's yard resting against my house and across my landscaping. I am very lucky it did no real damage but needless to say I was not happy with the whore.
I proceeded to take the chainsaw and cut the tree into three sections and drag the tree to her yard. Did I mention the 50 mph wind gusts last night and the fact the windchill was well below zero? Whore.
I wish her the best of luck getting out of her front door because that is where I stacked the remains of the once majestic tree. I'm typing out this rant to find peace rather than throwing a large section of tree through the front window of her house....because if she wasn't such a whore and took care of her yard, I wouldn't have spent two hours in sub-zero weather remove a 40 foot tree from my yard that was resting against my house....not to mention, my house would have sold by now if she wasn't such a whore and her yard looks like hell.
PS - Did I ever mention my neighbor is a whore?