Another Interview Rewrite. Thoughts?

[Therion]

This one was much tougher for me to rewrite. It was one of my better interviews, so finding a new voice was a bit harder. Which version do you like better?

Original version

New version

 

[finestkind]

I like the old version.

 

[Therion]

One and only bump

 

[pander69]

The old version reads much better. I see what you were doing with the new one, but the flow was great in the first one. Nice writing.

 

[MrMet]

Agree with the consensus and like the older one better

 

[gracecollector]

For all the time you spend building up the Cytomegalovirus angle, you never really tell us what it does or explain how exactly it ruined his career. General weakness? Take a couple of sentences to explain what systems the disease affects and how it impacted Knudson specifically.

 

[Therion]

Excellent feedback, y'all. Let me try retweaking it. If it doesn't hit right, I'll leave it the way it was.