Bill Simmons was at the National?!?!

[JEA2880]

Just looking at his most recently posted article, haven't read it yet but it appears it's about the National:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/st ... tro/090805

Edit: Read the article before you read the thread, lots of "spoilers" as you read on!

 

[beefycheddar]

Yeah, he was next to our booth and have no clue how I missed him!

 

[MaineMule]

I was just going to start this thread......the pics are awesome, at least for those of us who did not attend.......

 

[Hallsgator]

Oh snap! :lol: :lol: :lol:

"This signed photo is a sports memorabilia show staple right up there with Hawaiian shirts, greasy food and guys who look like they may have paid someone to lose their virginity."

 

[rico08]

"Put it this way: There are sausage fests, there are mega-sausage fests and then there's the National Sports Collectors Convention. You have a better chance of meeting your future wife in an all-male penitentiary during a Gay Pride parade."

 

[UMich92]

"Put it this way: There are sausage fests, there are mega-sausage fests and then there's the National Sports Collectors Convention. You have a better chance of meeting your future wife in an all-male penitentiary during a Gay Pride parade."

I was just about to post that quote. So true.

Alex

 

[Hallsgator]

"Put it this way: There are sausage fests, there are mega-sausage fests and then there's the National Sports Collectors Convention. You have a better chance of meeting your future wife in an all-male penitentiary during a Gay Pride parade."

hahaha, I just read that one.

 

[JEA2880]

"Put it this way: There are sausage fests, there are mega-sausage fests and then there's the National Sports Collectors Convention. You have a better chance of meeting your future wife in an all-male penitentiary during a Gay Pride parade."

I was just about to post that quote. So true.

Alex

I'm 3 galleries deep and already laughing my ass off. Great stuff, Bill.

 

[MaineMule]

...just wait 'til you get to these...

(Important note: The sealed box of cards is like the ultimate test for a sports fan. Can you keep it sealed? Will you cave? Will you get drunk one night and open it? The same principle is in place for a woman keeping her virginity. You try to keep that box sealed as long as you possibly can even if you're fighting peer pressure, your own desires to see the goods and everything else. Yes, I'm talking about the cards.)

By the way, here's a great idea for a bachelor party, a guy's weekend, or whatever. Let's say you have 12 guys in all and chip in $100 each to purchase this 1980 Topps box. You go out to a big dinner and get drunk. Instead of getting dessert, you open the box, pull out all the packs and mix them up in a pile. Everyone gets three. You open them up one at a time, going in a circle, three packs per person, three turns around the circle in all. First of all, would this be the most exciting 20 minutes of your year? I say yes. Second of all, if this was a televised show, would you watch it? Actually, yes. I think I would.

Again, the collector's show isn't a great place to meet women. Or, see women. Or remember what women look like.

 

[UMich92]

And his comment about dealers...

"(Time for a tangent: One of my favorite rules of collecting is "never buy from a dealer who's an a-hole." It's just not worth it. You'll always have the stink of the jerk who sold whatever you bought on it. Unfortunately, many of these guys are unfriendly; it's a relatively lonely business filled with unhappy people who act like they have more power than they do and don't mind spitting chicken fingers on you as you're trying to negotiate a price with them. The way to combat these people is by not giving these people money. I know, crazy. What's amazes me is their willingness to throw away any rules for selling that work in any other walk of life: Being friendly and reasonable; having a sense of humor; avoiding any condescending or derisive remarks; not keeping a customer waiting because you're busy telling another dealer a stupid story about your personal life; engaging the customer immediately instead of appearing put-out because they've interrupted your lunch or your phone call; etc., etc. It's one of those professions in which, when you deal with someone normal and friendly, you feel obligated to thank them for being normal and friendly. Sad but true.) "

 

[JEA2880]

And his comment about dealers...

"(Time for a tangent: One of my favorite rules of collecting is "never buy from a dealer who's an a-hole." It's just not worth it. You'll always have the stink of the jerk who sold whatever you bought on it. Unfortunately, many of these guys are unfriendly; it's a relatively lonely business filled with unhappy people who act like they have more power than they do and don't mind spitting chicken fingers on you as you're trying to negotiate a price with them. The way to combat these people is by not giving these people money. I know, crazy. What's amazes me is their willingness to throw away any rules for selling that work in any other walk of life: Being friendly and reasonable; having a sense of humor; avoiding any condescending or derisive remarks; not keeping a customer waiting because you're busy telling another dealer a stupid story about your personal life; engaging the customer immediately instead of appearing put-out because they've interrupted your lunch or your phone call; etc., etc. It's one of those professions in which, when you deal with someone normal and friendly, you feel obligated to thank them for being normal and friendly. Sad but true.) "

Beat me to the punch on this one.

 

[jimmyjam1973]

"Put it this way: There are sausage fests, there are mega-sausage fests and then there's the National Sports Collectors Convention. You have a better chance of meeting your future wife in an all-male penitentiary during a Gay Pride parade."

Best quote of the article. I almost spit coke over my monitor reading that.

 

[KC37]

What a great piece.

Now, Gilmore, Mox, and Blanning and the rest of you should figure out how to get him to sign at next year's FCB booth. Think he wouldn't be all over that?

 

[Bob Loblaw]

"Put it this way: There are sausage fests, there are mega-sausage fests and then there's the National Sports Collectors Convention. You have a better chance of meeting your future wife in an all-male penitentiary during a Gay Pride parade."

I was just about to post that quote. So true.

Alex

As was I.

 

[MallCopKJ]

That guy is a friggen riot. Under a picture of him tired, waiting at the airport:

"A winded Bill Simmons recovers in the airport after a 26-hour whirlwind of sports collecting, bracing for the inevitable "Jesus, how much did you spend???" reaction from his wife a few hours later. If we ever get divorced, this photo will be shown to the jury with a tag like "EVIDENCE 5F." Oh, well. It was fun. "

 

[Gwynn545]

My favorite:

"Excuse me, you wouldn't happen to have any glass ashtrays of obscure ABA teams from the late '60s, would you?"

 

[goldenegg1]

(Time for a tangent: One of my favorite rules of collecting is "never buy from a dealer who's an a-hole." It's just not worth it. You'll always have the stink of the jerk who sold whatever you bought on it. Unfortunately, many of these guys are unfriendly; it's a relatively lonely business filled with unhappy people who act like they have more power than they do and don't mind spitting chicken fingers on you as you're trying to negotiate a price with them. The way to combat these people is by not giving these people money. I know, crazy. What's amazes me is their willingness to throw away any rules for selling that work in any other walk of life: Being friendly and reasonable; having a sense of humor; avoiding any condescending or derisive remarks; not keeping a customer waiting because you're busy telling another dealer a stupid story about your personal life; engaging the customer immediately instead of appearing put-out because they've interrupted your lunch or your phone call; etc., etc. It's one of those professions in which, when you deal with someone normal and friendly, you feel obligated to thank them for being normal and friendly. Sad but true.)


Hit the nail on the head here.

 

[A_Pharis]

The angry old guy in the orange with the rings that screamed "No pictures!"

Is that the same one that showed the Montana superbowl ring?
I'm mighty suspicious of people who are so against photographing their items.

Make me think replica or stolen.
Notice early on the replica world series trophy that looks like the real deal. A replica Montana ring (that looks pretty darn good) can be found at auction for less than $2000. As a matter of fact, I looked one up.
FIshy as fishy can be.

 

[HawaiianLance]

And his comment about dealers...

"(Time for a tangent: One of my favorite rules of collecting is "never buy from a dealer who's an a-hole." It's just not worth it. You'll always have the stink of the jerk who sold whatever you bought on it. Unfortunately, many of these guys are unfriendly; it's a relatively lonely business filled with unhappy people who act like they have more power than they do and don't mind spitting chicken fingers on you as you're trying to negotiate a price with them. The way to combat these people is by not giving these people money. I know, crazy. What's amazes me is their willingness to throw away any rules for selling that work in any other walk of life: Being friendly and reasonable; having a sense of humor; avoiding any condescending or derisive remarks; not keeping a customer waiting because you're busy telling another dealer a stupid story about your personal life; engaging the customer immediately instead of appearing put-out because they've interrupted your lunch or your phone call; etc., etc. It's one of those professions in which, when you deal with someone normal and friendly, you feel obligated to thank them for being normal and friendly. Sad but true.) "

+2

Man had me in tears with this one about the Lombardi Game:

Nothing gets the kids ready for a board game quite like the friendly face of Mr. Vince Lombardi. "ROLL THE DICE, YOU NO-GOOD A-HOLES! ROLL IT!"

:lol:

 

[ThoseBackPages]

Fantastic Read (and pics!)