Heyward is so good that.......

[011873]

He walked today on THREE PITCHES (its true).

 

[blanning71]

He walked today on THREE PITCHES (its true).

He must be using the FORCE with Jedi Mind TRicks now. Make the ump, pitcher, catcher, and everyone else in the stadium think its ball 4 when actually its only 3. NIIIIIIIICE!

 

[scotty21690]

Jason Heyward > Matt LaPorta

 

[cgilmo]

Jason Heyward > Matt LaPorta

+1 seriously


it's true

 

[notjomommasclint]

if chuck norris could reproduce asexually would the child be jason heyward or jesus montero?

 

[Wes]

if chuck norris could reproduce asexually would the child be jason heyward or jesus montero?

IF!?

 

[Zithy]

The child would be Chuck Norris

 

[darocker80]

Heyward is good that.....he can believe its not butter.

 

[Zithy]

Please, let us not detract from the only man deserving of these fine truths - Chuck Norris. The man who transcends being Laporta-esque. The man who pooped this morning and named it Montero. (Which is only a compliment to Montero, of course).

In fact, his right bicep is named Heyward; his left, Laporta.

Before you reply, just think . . . what IF Chuck Norris reads these threads?

 

[jbhofmann]

We could tell if Chuck was on here. Chuck Norris' keyboard only types in ALL CAPS.

 

[TomMurry]

We could tell if Chuck was on here. Chuck Norris' keyboard only types in ALL CAPS.

Chuck Norris doesn't type, he just says words out loud and they show up on the Internet.

 

[ChasHawk]

We could tell if Chuck was on here. Chuck Norris' keyboard only types in ALL CAPS.

So "CISCOKID23" is Chuck Norris?

j/k :lol:

 

[phillyfan0417]

Chuck Norris would be angered if he realized everyone was recycling their matt laporta/chuck norris jokes.


He'd be very angry...

 

[flagshipchromecollector]

Chuck Norris turned 70 last week and he could still kick all of our asses.

 

[cwells46]

Chuck Norris can just look at a woman the right way and she becomes pregnant....

 

[DSman]

Chuck Norris is Wossa

 

[notjomommasclint]

Chuck Norris can just look at a woman the right way and she becomes pregnant....

this skill also works for men and boys... but chuck refuses to look at them that way... because chuck norris is NOT gay!

 

[Hallsgator]

Jason Heyward went to a ********** in Tijuana. He used a live cougar as a condom. At the end of the night, the count was 14 ****** and one dead cougar. The people there refer to it as "the night of the rampaging beaststud". Jason Heyward refers to it as "last Thursday".


Jay-Z has 99 problems, and they're all Jason Heyward.


Jason Heyward doesn't walk on water. Jason Heyward swims through land.

George Lucas is remaking all of the Star Wars Films. THE FORCE shall now be known as THE JASON HEYWARD. May the JASON HEYWARD be with the Braves next season.

 

[craw_song]

He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.

He lives vicariously through himself.

If he we’re to give you directions, you would never get lost. And you’d arrive at least 5 minutes early.

Jason Heyward doesn't always drink beer, but when he does.....

 

[darocker80]

Wossa is to scared to buy jason heyward