My favorite eBay question to date.

[jbrown]

So I have a lot of 125 different 1997 Ultra Platinum Medallions listed on ebay. Most are commons but that isn't a big deal. Anyway, so I received a question from an eBay member which I thought was pretty stupid/odd and I wasn't sure how to respond to it.
Here is the question:

Dear jebscards,

Why would anyone want this, it has no stars and no simi-stars.

Anyone know of a good way to reply to this? Keep in mind that I have never sold anything to this ebay member and he hasn't previously emailed or made an offer on the lot.

 

[DeliciousBacon]

Ask him what the f*ck a simi-star is.

 

[George_Calfas]

Ignore-Block-Move on......btw McNair, Allen, Faulk, and Davis are Semi-stars in some people's book.

 

[Erich]

Don't even respond just ignore it.

 

[Hallsgator]

Dear Buyer,

Why didn't your mom swallow?

 

[noaskiecards]

obviosely a brilliant negotiator...he wants the lot but is trying to prove to you that it has no value and that you should send the lot to him along with a few hundred dollars cash just for him taking the trouble to enlighten you on the true nature of what you have..

I would play along with him though...I would reply

"I think you're right...what do you think I should do with them, they are just hogging up space" and let him lick his chops and send his next moronic reply

 

[CasperMcLovin]

I'd play along with him too. Sounds like good fun.

obviosely a brilliant negotiator...he wants the lot but is trying to prove to you that it has no value and that you should send the lot to him along with a few hundred dollars cash just for him taking the trouble to enlighten you on the true nature of what you have..

I would play along with him though...I would reply

"I think you're right...what do you think I should do with them, they are just hogging up space" and let him lick his chops and send his next moronic reply

 

[Keyser Soze]

Need to go all Kenny Powers on him and tell him to tongue-kiss your ********

 

[matfanofold]

Maybe something like this....

"Thank you for your question. It pleases me to educate members of our beloved hobby when the time occurs. It is clear by your question that you are severely removed from the roots of our hobby and as such let me take this time to remind you that ever since the first ball players were pictured and put out to the public for consumption, persons collected teams and completed set collections to the best of their abilities. Even today, in a time where most only collect 'hits', star players and manufactured 'relic' cards, autos, ect.. there are still some who relish the ability to collect and complete full sets. Sets including a tough master set like the 1997 Ultra Platinum Medallions. I know this concept is perhaps foriegn to you based on your inquiry, but none the less there it is. There are still interested 'set builders' that collect every single card in any given set, commons included. Please be advised I would love to continue to educate you on any and all aspects of our hobby if and when needed. Please do not hesitate in asking anymore questions and do not fear judgment of what many would consider a dumb question. I would be glad to shepard you through the teething process of understanding our hobby.

Have a great day!"

 

[Keyser Soze]

Maybe something like this....

I prefer my "tongue-kiss my ********" retort.

 

[matfanofold]

I prefer my "tongue-kiss my ********" retort.

That works too.

 

[CollectorsCorner]

Ignore him and sell them to me

 

[jbrown]

Need to go all Kenny Powers on him and tell him to tongue-kiss your ********

Should have gone with your reply. I still don't know what the point of his question was to begin with.
Here is how the conversation has gone so far:

HIM:
Why would anyone want this, it has no stars and no simi-stars.

ME:
Is this a serious question? Here are a few answers to help you out: Set builders- If someone wants to build this set they will need the commons too. Resale- Someone wants to purchase the lot to resell each card individually. 90s Insert/Parallel collectors- Some people enjoy collecting rare cards from the 1990s. A great deal- Each common card has a book value of $12.50. If these were all commons (which they are not) the total book value would be $1562.50 so the price is actually pretty good.

There are several more answers to your interesting question but I don't feel like going into it any further. You feel free to collect anything you desire. There are probably many people who wouldn't want any thing you collect.

PS- Marshall Faulk, Terrell Davis, Marcus Allen - 3 of the best running backs of all-time and would definitely be stars or semi-stars.

Thanks for the question

HIM:
Your talking to a ultra expert. I have the complete set of series 1 and 2. I have almost two more complete sets os series 2. One set I need two cards, the other set I need 8 cards. Anyway you are dreaming and in LA LA land. I would never give you $300.00 for the commons. I have a real nice extra card of Tiki Barber in series 1.

ME:
Well thank you for your input Mr. Ultra Expert. The good thing for me is I don't have to sell them to you. There are plenty of other buyers on eBay. Congrats on putting together these sets. I am very proud to have spoken with someone who has been able to amass such a great collection. Just curious why did you even send me a message to begin with? If you aren't interested in buying this lot, just move on the the next item. Good luck finding the rest of the cards you need for your sets.

 

[AMAZIN HOF COLLECTOR]

Response:

"If I was in a car driving at the speed of light and i turn my headlights on, what happens?"

That will confuse him......

 

[sportscardtheory]

If I didn't care about my eBay account, I would ask him why his mother wanted HIM.

 

[smapdi]

This guy's obviously either stupid or trolling. The real question is,"Why haven't you posted these questions in the auction?"

 

[jbrown]

This guy's obviously either stupid or trolling. The real question is,"Why haven't you posted these questions in the auction?"

DAMN IT!! Forgot you could do that! Wish I would have.
The saga continues!
HIM:
I know how you came up with a figure for the commons. You used the losest common card price and used the mutiplier for the stars. you can not use the stars multiplier, because they areb not stars. If you wanted a figure for the commons I would say $5.00 a piece. No one will pay $300. for what you have. If you put the price $100- $125. you might get a taker, if not sell the cards one at a time.

ME:
Common cards from the base set are 25 cents. The multiplier is 50X. By my math that is $12.50 per. Either way it doesn't matter. By your math this lot still books for $625 (if they were all commons). So $300 still sounds like a pretty good deal. If someone wants to offer less they can. That is why I added the "Best Offer" option to the auction when I listed it.

In the end it doesn't matter what the value is. I could list them for $100,000 if I wanted to. They are my cards to do with as I please. Why it matters to you is beyond me. Like I said before, if you aren't interested in the lot, why send an email to begin with?

PS- I already have 2 offers higher than the $125 you mentioned. So your "expertise" on this matter is lacking in the "expert" department.

 

[markakis8]

Dear Buyer,

Why didn't your mom swallow?

I don't get it. Please explain.

 

[markakis8]

Better question is, why are you guys still talking about book value? Throw that out the window and problem solved

 

[TNP777]

'97 Ultra Platinums can be incredibly hard to track down. If I was doing a master set, $2.40 each would be pretty darn hard to ignore... not to mention you have a BO option.

You need to block this clown - he may be entertaining now, but could turn into an absolute nightmare later. If he feels he's beaten you down to the best of his ability and gotten nowhere and decides to hit the BIN, I sense nothing but trouble down the road.