I'm Done

[zookerman182]

I think this thread proves that on the list of things a teenager gives good advice about, marriage may be the last item listed.

I dont think it takes a thread to prove that. I think its just understood.

 

[jubei777]

yeah she doesn't know how much cards cost and she trusted me on running my own end of the finances. we weren't on the brink of financial ruin but it's the issue of not disclosing that for the most part i was covering my end of the bills but at the same time not really saving any cash over the last 3 years which brought the situation to this level. she's pissed because 1) the cost that i was dropping on cards over the last 3 years 2) not telling her that i was in the hole last month for property taxes and 3) spending while she worked 2 jobs (i'm employed as well). she has a fiery temper and i know that this will be a lasting issue for a while. i'm hoping that although i screwed up royal, she calms down soon.

on a lighter side, panini actually called me today to tell me that they can't swap out a 1/1 lendale white from leaf certified. i spoke for a bit with the rep who didn't know cards or how to pronounce some players but i did wind up with an elway auto which i'll be flipping and she threw in a sanchez stamp jersey as well.

 

[thefasterblade]

Hide the Crosbys sell everything else.

 

[mchenrycards]

yeah she doesn't know how much cards cost and she trusted me on running my own end of the finances. we weren't on the brink of financial ruin but it's the issue of not disclosing that for the most part i was covering my end of the bills but at the same time not really saving any cash over the last 3 years which brought the situation to this level. she's pissed because 1) the cost that i was dropping on cards over the last 3 years 2) not telling her that i was in the hole last month for property taxes and 3) spending while she worked 2 jobs (i'm employed as well). she has a fiery temper and i know that this will be a lasting issue for a while. i'm hoping that although i screwed up royal, she calms down soon.

on a lighter side, panini actually called me today to tell me that they can't swap out a 1/1 lendale white from leaf certified. i spoke for a bit with the rep who didn't know cards or how to pronounce some players but i did wind up with an elway auto which i'll be flipping and she threw in a sanchez stamp jersey as well.

Ouch and double ouch. Yeah I can see why she would be really pissed right now.

You took the 1st step and told her everything (I hope). Now just do everything you can to rectify the situation and show her you mean business when it comes to getting your finances straight. She has every right to be pissed so just do what you need to do and lay low for now. If you get your financials together and show a track record of being able to handle your finances, you will re-build that trust she had in you.

Oh, and sell the Crosby's, you are going to need the cash!!

 

[notjomommasclint]

dude you made your wife work 2 jobs, spent your tax money on cardboard, and failed at controlling your finances in general? divorce should be the least of your worries. things like being strangled in your sleep, hit in the face with a frying pan, or losing the house would top my list. if this was a situation that came about from being fired, injured, or unable to work i would have some sympathy for you. however with your actions i think your wife would be justified to leave.

 

[jeff550]

Sell the Crosby and when you get money back replace them with Ovechkins.


hope it all works out in the end

 

[jubei777]

just to clarify, she works her second job a freelance photographer since its something she enjoys. i have a few pm's and will get back to those later on today. thx

 

[daveyou]

sorry to hear about this, buddy.....

good luck and hope that you guys can work it out

just remind her that you screwed up and will make it right

dave

 

[Johnny G]

Best of luck to you man. Hope your marriage stays intact.

 

[zach]

No need to quit completely. However, you need to REALLY understand that with cards, you're not going to get he "big pull" nor should you always be looking/hoping for the "big pull".

Also, if you're a player collector, you won't miss out on a card if you don't get it immediately. The card will always be available at some point in time.

In other words, get control of your actions. Once you start paying your important bills (like property taxes) on a credit card, you're in deep trouble.

Budget your money and give yourself a card allowance.

Sure, this is easier said then done. However, it becomes a lot easier when you consider the consequences.

 

[gregbara]

I totally agree with the addiction. At least, at the end of the day, you can hopefully turn around and sell some stuff and make something back.

 

[predatorkj]

The only part that confuses me is that wife didn't notice her husband had an addiction problem. Did she have no concept what these cards cost?

I don't know...the wifey could walk in with a new purse on any give day, she could have paid $25 from Target or $500 from some designer for all I know. I'm a dude...a purse is a purse. To most women, I'm guessing a card is a card.

Bingo!My wife doesn't know the difference between a card that cost me 50 cents and one that I dropped $100 on nor does she care.She just cares if I am spending.All I can say is be straight up.I would not be married to my wife if I didn't trust her.I would think she would be married to me if she ddn't trust me.Luckily for me...I don't have to tell her anything.She works at a bank.The one I use.She see's what I spend from the account.I don't even get a chance to tell her.Its usually just that "Look".

I spent quite a bit getting back into this hobby but I have also paid down a lot of my credit cards.Some have even been paid off and I systematically close another one after one gets paid off.

Luckily for me...I go small fry if the money is tight and in the case of it being real tight...nothing at all.But its kind of hard going from making $25 and hour to making $7 and hour and not even pulling 40 hours.All of a sudden you learn how to do without and its not just cards.But I don't feel like I have to have a lot of things.I have passed up some really good deals on some Bagwells because I just don't have the money.But as far as I am concerned, I agree with the poster who said that at one point and time, eventually everything will be up for grabs again.Just get yourself right and then you can collect and not get into debt and your wife will be okay with it and you ahve your cake and eat it too.

Just one thing though.Make sure she doesn't become highly adverse to you ever collecting again.The bad part is, you have given her a real reason to and she may never be cool with it even if you do everything the right way in the future.Not saying you would want to leave your wife for cards but IMO, you do what you need to to be happy.If you make a mistake and prove that you have tried to fix it, you ought to have some freedom.If that isn't possible, might honestly be time to re-evaulate your relationship.I wouldn't want to leave my wife for anything.I love that woman more than I ever thought I could love somebody.But if I got myself straight and she still had a fit if I made a card purchase...something is wrong.You need to see what kind of preventative steps you can take to avoid that.

 

[NYCrulesU]

Tonight, my wife told me she's giving me $400 to put towards the potential purchase of a Rafael Palmeiro full game used jersey I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. She knows I want one and she knows that I would never spend that kind of money on myself. She and my girls always come first. So she pretty much TOLD me that's what the money is for and that by March I will have the jersey framed and hanging on the wall. I love her

 

[predatorkj]

Tonight, my wife told me she's giving me $400 to put towards the potential purchase of a Rafael Palmeiro full game used jersey I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. She knows I want one and she knows that I would never spend that kind of money on myself. She and my girls always come first. So she pretty much TOLD me that's what the money is for and that by March I will have the jersey framed and hanging on the wall. I love her

Lucky son of a gun! :evil:

 

[notjomommasclint]

Tonight, my wife told me she's giving me $400 to put towards the potential purchase of a Rafael Palmeiro full game used jersey I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. She knows I want one and she knows that I would never spend that kind of money on myself. She and my girls always come first. So she pretty much TOLD me that's what the money is for and that by March I will have the jersey framed and hanging on the wall. I love her

Lucky son of a gun! :evil:

lucky? its rafael palmerio!

 

[NYCrulesU]

Tonight, my wife told me she's giving me $400 to put towards the potential purchase of a Rafael Palmeiro full game used jersey I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. She knows I want one and she knows that I would never spend that kind of money on myself. She and my girls always come first. So she pretty much TOLD me that's what the money is for and that by March I will have the jersey framed and hanging on the wall. I love her

Lucky son of a gun! :evil:

lucky? its rafael palmerio!

Luckily it's Palmeiro! She'd probably say, "How's it feel to want" if it were someone like Griffey or Arod :lol:

 

[Anthony]

I think this thread proves that on the list of things a teenager gives good advice about, marriage may be the last item listed.

Ha, very funny--and true.

My wife and I have been laughing at some of the advice posted in this thread... Then again, I'm on a pretty tight budget myself--about $40 per month. Too bad I put it all in Khalil Greene, but at least it was only $40 a month, right? I used to put stuff on credit cards until we had our first child--7 years ago.

The best advice that has been posted here was: don't buy baseball cards with credit cards.
http://consumerist.com/2007/04/snl-skit-dont-buy-stuff-you-cant-afford.html

 

[Adamsince1981]

The OP needs to sell every single card and show his wife his progress and the money and keep her updated or get her involved in where it is going. I would also suggest giving her your eBay password and allowing her to change the password so you don't know it.

Money is a huge reason for divorce in this country and isn't something to be taken lightly. I had to take full financial control over my household and put my wife on litterally an allowance about 2 years ago.

I'm bad when it comes to clothes and baseball cards, but I pay every bill on time and have been knocking out debt left and right. As someone already mentioned, baseball cards aren't a bad addiction to have. I've sold large chunks of my collection several times over the last few years to pay for vacations and to help out during tight months.

I will say that this situation should not lead to divorce and divorce shouldn't be mentioned at this point and reading what the OP has said.

In another thread, I read people saying there are cards they would never sell....NOT ME, I could sell every single card I own at the drop of the hat to help my family or keep my relationship with my wife healthy.

If in a week from now, my collection was litterally my Tulo Super, I could sleep just fine.

 

[zookerman182]

The OP needs to sell every single card and show his wife his progress and the money and keep her updated or get her involved in where it is going. I would also suggest giving her your eBay password and allowing her to change the password so you don't know it.

Money is a huge reason for divorce in this country and isn't something to be taken lightly. I had to take full financial control over my household and put my wife on litterally an allowance about 2 years ago.

I'm bad when it comes to clothes and baseball cards, but I pay every bill on time and have been knocking out debt left and right. As someone already mentioned, baseball cards aren't a bad addiction to have. I've sold large chunks of my collection several times over the last few years to pay for vacations and to help out during tight months.

I will say that this situation should not lead to divorce and divorce shouldn't be mentioned at this point and reading what the OP has said.

In another thread, I read people saying there are cards they would never sell....NOT ME, I could sell every single card I own at the drop of the hat to help my family or keep my relationship with my wife healthy.

If in a week from now, my collection was litterally my Tulo Super, I could sleep just fine.

This is a great idea.

I have saved on my computer every single card i have bought since we have been married with the price of the card + shipping and who i bought it from. If she asks how much im spending i just show her the chart. Sometimes i show her the chart anyway just to keep her up to date. This way, when i make the HUGE purchase she will never see it comming.




just kidding about the last part of course

 

[George K]

Glad I'm still single. Sounds like most of the married guys don't wear the pants in their households. At least I'm the king in my castle.