I'm Done

[ThoseBackPages]

Tonight, my wife told me she's giving me $400 to put towards the potential purchase of a Rafael Palmeiro full game used jersey I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. She knows I want one and she knows that I would never spend that kind of money on myself. She and my girls always come first. So she pretty much TOLD me that's what the money is for and that by March I will have the jersey framed and hanging on the wall. I love her

Lucky son of a gun! :evil:

lucky? its rafael palmerio!

Luckily it's Palmeiro! She'd probably say, "How's it feel to want" if it were someone like Griffey or Arod :lol:

 

[Donutme]

I feel for your situation !

Very good topic about this .... " Crazy little thing of ours" .... almost like it is a mafia or cult ... this hobby !

The only part that confuses me is that wife didn't notice her husband had an addiction problem. Did she have no concept what these cards cost?

I was in this boat for a while .... until she snap the OAR ! LOL ....

I don't know...the wifey could walk in with a new purse on any give day, she could have paid $25 from Target or $500 from some designer for all I know. I'm a dude...a purse is a purse. To most women, I'm guessing a card is a card.

A card was a card .... until EBAY was up on the computer .... I had a 100% feedback ... (1,218) .... all purchases .... then the questions came .... I have always been the " King of Three D " .... Dodge , Deflect , Distract .... well .... I had to weather the storm .... a HUGE HURRICANE !

I am up and running after taking a small break to get back ontrack .... It happens to everyone in this hobby I think ...

Goodluck !

 

[NYCrulesU]

Tonight, my wife told me she's giving me $400 to put towards the potential purchase of a Rafael Palmeiro full game used jersey I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. She knows I want one and she knows that I would never spend that kind of money on myself. She and my girls always come first. So she pretty much TOLD me that's what the money is for and that by March I will have the jersey framed and hanging on the wall. I love her

Lucky son of a gun! :evil:

lucky? its rafael palmerio!

Luckily it's Palmeiro! She'd probably say, "How's it feel to want" if it were someone like Griffey or Arod :lol:

That's my boy! :lol:

 

[zach]

Glad I'm still single. Sounds like most of the married guys don't wear the pants in their households. At least I'm the king in my castle.

....or at the very least, "Master of your Domain".

 

[BunchOBull]

If I ever drop more than a couple hundred on cards at one time, it's something I've been saving for and my wife is well aware. I have a "hobby only" bank account tied to my PayPal account. My wife sees how much I have in the account when she logs on to our banking site. I also have an "allowance" automatically transferred in to the account every month.

If I ever drop more than $50 on anything, I let her know immediately. If it happened to be an "emergency" purchase, I show her the debt and how I plan to cover it. I never make a large purchase without having the hobby money saved up or a plan to cover the debt in short order.

It's not about wearing the pants, it's about how one man's hobby can affect the stability of his whole family.

 

[jumbojohnny]

I am hooked up like this also. Thankfully I buy little wax and never lose my shirt. I have had some good player investments which have set me up high in the profits. I only transfer money out of my paypal when I need some extra funds outside of this hobby.

Its not a bad idea to let one member of the household assume control over finances. Just let it be the one most responsible.

If I ever drop more than a couple hundred on cards at one time, it's something I've been saving for and my wife is well aware. I have a "hobby only" bank account tied to my PayPal account. My wife sees how much I have in the account when she logs on to our banking site. I also have an "allowance" automatically transferred in to the account every month.

If I ever drop more than $50 on anything, I let her know immediately. If it happened to be an "emergency" purchase, I show her the debt and how I plan to cover it. I never make a large purchase without having the hobby money saved up or a plan to cover the debt in short order.

It's not about wearing the pants, it's about how one man's hobby can affect the stability of his whole family.

 

[sneekc]

thanks guys. it'll be tough doing the cold turkey thing but i did it when i went to college and i did it afterwards. just the allure of cracking packs and investing is prospects is so damn appealing. i know my life is going to be absolute crap for a few months. just feels like a crazy nightmare.

Try drugs, at least you will rot your mind enough in due time to not care anymore. And you still will have nothing to show for it. Being sober and pissing away money leaves a bad taste in anyone's mouth. And at least your wife may understand a little more. Instead of having no idea why you collect pictures and pieces of athletic mens clothing.

I mean that will all the humor in the world. I too stopped buying boxes because
1. the insurmountable debt it creates
2. my wife was pissed at me
3. i got tired of the piss poor payoff
4. getting high when I was kid makes so much more sense now :lol:

 

[Therion]

Glad I'm still single. Sounds like most of the married guys don't wear the pants in their households. At least I'm the king in my castle.

Relationships are about respect, not domination. Hiding things from your spouse shows a lack of respect, not a lack of balls.

 

[NYCrulesU]

Glad I'm still single. Sounds like most of the married guys don't wear the pants in their households. At least I'm the king in my castle.

Relationships are about respect, not domination. Hiding things from your spouse shows a lack of respect, not a lack of balls.

+1. Thanked

 

[Aride18]

Wow this post hit close to home on me also.....My wife freaked when she finally saw the American Express charge for about 8 2008 Bowman Chrome Draft cases (She still ******* about it 8 months later). She didn't seem to care about the live.com discount or what I pulled either. Ever since then she went from thinking my hobby was cool to thinking it was out of control. Although it did make me realize how much money I had been spending on cards. Things have cooled off a lot and I only buy with $ that I have made from selling cards. And I am in the process of down sizing my collection and actually putting the money back in the bank.


Moral of the story.....Don't buy cards with credit....Its like taking your credit card to the ATM at the casino, never a good idea!

 

[tonsofcommons]

Wow 8 CASES of Bowman Chrome.

Now I know you get tangibles with cards, but what would you say if your wife spent $6000 at the casino?

Wow.

 

[Aride18]

Wow 8 CASES of Bowman Chrome.

Now I know you get tangibles with cards, but what would you say if your wife spent $6000 at the casino?

Wow.

If she did that I would make her go to rehab. It was more like $4500, but yes I know, there was not much of an arguement from me. Luckily I got my $ worth from the cases and made up the money.

 

[francisjniskey]

Glad I'm still single. Sounds like most of the married guys don't wear the pants in their households. At least I'm the king in my castle.

Relationships are about respect, not domination. Hiding things from your spouse shows a lack of respect, not a lack of balls.

Exactly. With George K's comment he'll be single for a long time until he can figure that out......

 

[predatorkj]

Glad I'm still single. Sounds like most of the married guys don't wear the pants in their households. At least I'm the king in my castle.

Relationships are about respect, not domination. Hiding things from your spouse shows a lack of respect, not a lack of balls.

Exactly. With George K's comment he'll be single for a long time until he can figure that out......

Its good to keep in mind that there is a fine line between respect/trust and control.Women(at least a lot of the ones I have been with and even met) have a tendency to try to control men.Its like they now own you so they feel its their right to do with you as they see fit.Sadly this doesn't always work out well.Sometimes men can't seem to pull their head out of their rear end long enough to sharpen up and sometimes women go all gestapo on you and try to control everything.The best thing to do is let them have some control.Face it...even if you had money, 9 times out of 10 your wife would be griping at you for spending it.Hell...I was dating a chick and she told me I needed to stop collecting comic books so I would have more money to spend on her.I laughed thinkign she was just making a joke but she was serious.It wasn't that I minded spending money on her and it wasn't like I didn't spend money on her but just the selfish nature of the comment made me have a real bad taste in my mouth.Women are some of the only creatures I know that can get away with being completely selfish, do so publicly, and still feel they didn't do anything wrong.And in some cases, they even have supporters for said behavior.

Be careful this doesn't happen to you.I have also seen it where you do indeed have a problem but, like I posted above, even after you correct the problem, they still want to control you.Its like they get a taste and that's it.That's all they ever want anymore.

 

[francisjniskey]

I doubt that is a problem in my relationship. It is not about one spouse dominating the other for control/power. It is about mutually respecting each other and having the common sense to think how your actions will impact your spouse/family and them having the same common sense when they make a decision to think of how it will impact you. My wife and I just had our 19th Anniversary. Between her and I we make over $100,000 a year. She keeps her money and pays for the all the bills. What she does outside of that is her business. It's her money she earned it. If she wants to go out and blow $1000 on a purse then more power to her. Same as me. I pay the House Payment and what I do with my extra money is up to me. If I go blow a grand or two on a guitar etc. then more power to me. Both her and I max out our 401k's every year and we have no credit card debt. We don't even own a Credit card. We pay cash for pretty much everything. We had to work our butts off to get where we are at today. Her working 3 jobs and me working 2 and going to school full time for my Physics degree. It's time for us to kick back and enjoy life a little. I think the point is that if you are taking money away from your family and can't pay the bills, or property taxes, or your house payment then you shouldn't be buying stuff you can't afford. Like they say "Live within your means". If buying cards means more to you then providing Food, Shelter, and the Basic Necessities to your family then your priorities are out of whack. I can't make it any simpler. C'mon, if your hiding something behind your wifes back hoping she doesn't find out then you shouldn't be doing it. Out of all the people in the world she should be able to trust you more then anyone on the planet. How do you think she feels when you break her trust and lie to her?

This has been another exciting esipode of "Lifes Lessons" provided to you by one of the good people of FCB.

Glad I'm still single. Sounds like most of the married guys don't wear the pants in their households. At least I'm the king in my castle.

Relationships are about respect, not domination. Hiding things from your spouse shows a lack of respect, not a lack of balls.

Exactly. With George K's comment he'll be single for a long time until he can figure that out......

Its good to keep in mind that there is a fine line between respect/trust and control.Women(at least a lot of the ones I have been with and even met) have a tendency to try to control men.Its like they now own you so they feel its their right to do with you as they see fit.Sadly this doesn't always work out well.Sometimes men can't seem to pull their head out of their rear end long enough to sharpen up and sometimes women go all gestapo on you and try to control everything.The best thing to do is let them have some control.Face it...even if you had money, 9 times out of 10 your wife would be griping at you for spending it.Hell...I was dating a chick and she told me I needed to stop collecting comic books so I would have more money to spend on her.I laughed thinkign she was just making a joke but she was serious.It wasn't that I minded spending money on her and it wasn't like I didn't spend money on her but just the selfish nature of the comment made me have a real bad taste in my mouth.Women are some of the only creatures I know that can get away with being completely selfish, do so publicly, and still feel they didn't do anything wrong.And in some cases, they even have supporters for said behavior.

Be careful this doesn't happen to you.I have also seen it where you do indeed have a problem but, like I posted above, even after you correct the problem, they still want to control you.Its like they get a taste and that's it.That's all they ever want anymore.

 

[jeremy]

Wow 8 CASES of Bowman Chrome.

Now I know you get tangibles with cards, but what would you say if your wife spent $6000 at the casino?

Wow.

you lose 6 stacks at the casino you have nothing to show for it

at least this guy can recoup some of his scrizzle

 

[gomatt]

I'm late in getting in on the conversation, but a few thoughts...

1) Obviously, this board is comprised of some young people that are inexperienced about the ways of life and what really matters. A sportscard may bring temporary happiness, but it doesn't bring joy. Especially five years from now when they've significantly decreased in value. We were made to love and be loved and not be alone. And at least in my experience, my wife is incredible. Yes, we argue and fight and disagree as all relationships do, but in the end, my life is made complete by having her in it.

2) I applaud you for having the courage and intelligence to do what you're doing. I think that the point made that there are worse addictions is a reasonable one. But if it is an addiction, I think that's it's important that she understand that as much as possible. In this world, there are many idols - pride, money, power, ****, gambling, vanity, cars, house, family, and even sportscards.

3) You're not alone. Meaning many men have gotten into some trouble for their buying habits. Just apologize with sincerity and do better. Time will pass and the wounds will heal.

 

[predatorkj]

I doubt that is a problem in my relationship. It is not about one spouse dominating the other for control/power. It is about mutually respecting each other and having the common sense to think how your actions will impact your spouse/family and them having the same common sense when they make a decision to think of how it will impact you. My wife and I just had our 19th Anniversary. Between her and I we make over $100,000 a year. She keeps her money and pays for the all the bills. What she does outside of that is her business. It's her money she earned it. If she wants to go out and blow $1000 on a purse then more power to her. Same as me. I pay the House Payment and what I do with my extra money is up to me. If I go blow a grand or two on a guitar etc. then more power to me. Both her and I max out our 401k's every year and we have no credit card debt. We don't even own a Credit card. We pay cash for pretty much everything. We had to work our butts off to get where we are at today. Her working 3 jobs and me working 2 and going to school full time for my Physics degree. It's time for us to kick back and enjoy life a little. I think the point is that if you are taking money away from your family and can't pay the bills, or property taxes, or your house payment then you shouldn't be buying stuff you can't afford. Like they say "Live within your means". If buying cards means more to you then providing Food, Shelter, and the Basic Necessities to your family then your priorities are out of whack. I can't make it any simpler. C'mon, if your hiding something behind your wifes back hoping she doesn't find out then you shouldn't be doing it. Out of all the people in the world she should be able to trust you more then anyone on the planet. How do you think she feels when you break her trust and lie to her?

This has been another exciting esipode of "Lifes Lessons" provided to you by one of the good people of FCB.

I understand that and I do agree.But sadly, as I pointed out, sometimes a relationship can go awry because of control issues and I could totally see something like this being the catalyst for a control issue.He fixes his problem, proves that he can control himself, and she may not ever relent and give him freedom.Is that worth having?I don't think so.I do agree though that every decision you make has to be centered around how it affects your "family" and not just "you". A lot of younger couples have this problem.I have had it, my parents have had it, all my friends, and everyone I know and talked to about it has had it.

It kind of sounds pretty wrong in a way but the best thing I think anyone ever had to say about it(a buddy of mine at work) is that sometimes you just have to make sure you aren't getting pulled too far one way.You need to make sure you take covert measures to make sure nobody is gaining too much control.Its not about mistrust and its not about greed.Its understanding that once given some sort of control, people tend to want more.It usually comes with whoever makes all the money in a household.Nowdays you see a more even spread but if you get into a relationship where one person is making a considerable amount more than the other...it can happen very easily.Hell...it can even lead to abuse.We had a big talk about it in psychology class and there were quite a few females who felt their husbands tried to control them and what our teacher said was that it was not uncommon for the primary earner to do this.Now...take that for what its worth but I have seen it happen with more than just myself.And I would also hazard a guess htis is right up that alley.One of the people has a problem so now the other is left with responsibility they don't normally seem to have and now they may or may not start making decisions and doing and saying things that are more motivated by other things than the needed responsibility.